


Good Bad Feeling

by ThrallofPentacles



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Foreplay, Kink Discovery, Loss of Virginity, Making Out, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mirror Sex, POV Female Character, Penis In Vagina Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Situational Humiliation, Slut Shaming, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, an attempted handjob, and Coby just does not notice most of that, and bad at communication, autoerotic humiliation, both parties very much want to have sex, but Mina is Repressed and full of irrational guilt, by which I mean, could be considered, is that a tag? no? well it is now, solely internalized slut shaming, the inherent eroticism of being ashamed of your own desires, wait that's a tag???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:40:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29212803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThrallofPentacles/pseuds/ThrallofPentacles
Summary: Mina never meant to meet anyone at the club—she only showed up because her sister needed a ride. She's never had sex before, and she certainly doesn't intend to lose her virginity in a men's bathroom. And yet, there's something thrilling about how wrong it all is. Something exhilarating in feeling disgusting.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Good Bad Feeling

Mina was not a club person.

The whole thing was an assault on her senses. There was a pop song playing, something she might have liked if it weren't loud enough to shake her bones. She could feel the heat of the crowd pressing in all around her, close enough for her to smell the alcohol on their breath. Lights kept flashing and dimming until she felt halfway drunk. She hadn't gone anywhere near the bar yet.

It was Agi's fault. She'd had the keys to her car confiscated last week when she broke curfew to see her boyfriend, and... well, how the hell was Mina supposed to say no when she asked her to drive them here? Her little sister had already missed her twenty-first birthday, and she knew how it felt to be stuck at home with their parents' rules, long past the point where it made any sense at all. Mina herself had only just managed to convince them to let her move into the dorms this past year, as a senior in college.

They meant well. Probably.

So she was very sympathetic towards her sister, right up until the point where she waved to some girl Mina had never seen before and disappeared into the crowd. "Wha—Agi! Wait!" She pushed through a knot of guys who seemed way too young to be here. "Agatha!" Mina didn't often use her little sister's full name—mostly because hers was  _ way  _ more embarrassing—but it never failed to get her attention. Until she used it in a club where you had to scream over the music to talk to someone a foot in front of you.

She soon lost track of Agi completely. So, there she was. Stuck at a club she hated and ditched by the  _ menace  _ who'd dragged her there. She migrated over towards the wall, and might have spent a dull few hours just standing there, watching everyone else dance.

But she didn't.

"Hey!"

Mina jumped at the sound of a male voice behind her. She spun on her heel, her breath catching in her throat as she caught a pair of gorgeous hazel eyes. He was more pretty than handsome, with artfully messy black hair and a tight shirt he'd buttoned so low that it barely hid his navel. Maybe a little younger than her, though probably not by much.

"H-hi," she stammered, struggling to look at his face. She wanted to stare at the floor. She wanted to stare at his chest.

"You look bored. Wanna dance?" He held a hand out to her, flashing a sweet, boyish grin. It calmed her, somehow—enough that she let him lead her onto the floor.

"I'm Coby!" He had to shout now to make himself heard over the music. Maybe that was why he moved closer to her—though deep down, she knew better.

"Mill," she blurted. And then, panicked, "Wina! I mean, um—!"

She could tell by the crinkling of his eyes that he'd noticed, and that he was amused. "Sorry," he shouted, putting a hand to his ear. "Couldn't hear you!"

"It's Mina," she managed. "Or Will, sometimes."

He blinked. "Wait, what's that short for?"

And  _ this  _ was why she usually didn't give out both nicknames at once. "I'll tell you later," she said. "Maybe."

"Ooh, a mystery!" He winked and flashed her another one of those grins, and she forgot all about wanting to leave the club.

Mina wasn't much of a dancer, so she let Coby take her by the hand and by the hip and lead her along to the music. Her heart beat frantically against her ribs as he stepped in so close that she could feel the heat of his breath. Previous experience made her tense, but he never pushed, never forced himself into her space. When she retreated, he let her. When she came closer, his eyes lit up in earnest delight.

It was still a little too loud and a little too bright, but once she relaxed into the dancing, and finally realized that she was in a crowd of people too drunk to be any more coordinated than she was... it was actually pretty fun. They couldn't talk much, but Coby had a nice smile that he seemed to like sharing.

The music changed. A pounding beat filled Mina's chest, and filthy lyrics ricocheted around in her head.  _ "Spin me 'round, throw me down, put your hands up under my skirt!" _ On impulse, she wound her arms loosely around his neck and leaned into him. Suddenly they were pressed together, her breasts against his chest, so that she could feel his hips swinging in time with the music. Her face turned beet red and she started to splutter.

"Need a breather?" he suggested, backing away and jerking his thumb at a booth in the corner, off and away from the worst of the crowd. Mina nodded eagerly, struggling to catch her breath as they sat down. It was quieter here, enough that they could actually talk.

"So, Mina or Will," Coby said. "What's the story there?"

Her blush returned with a vengeance. She felt a familiar and mortifying tingling in the pit of her stomach, and dropped her eyes to the table. "There's not really a  _ story,"  _ she admitted. "My parents just thought it would be a good idea to name a little girl Wilhelmina."

Coby cracked up.

"It's not funny!" she blurted, purely out of reflex.

"Sorry, sorry!" He held his hands up. "It's a really pretty name! As long as you're  _ sure  _ you're not possessed by the ghost of your great-great-auntie."

Mina normally hated being teased about this. But here in the dark, watching Coby's mouth twitch up into a mischievous smirk... her flush spread from her face to her neck to her chest, and then further down, pooling heat somewhere deep inside. She realized she was staring at his lips, but she couldn't stop. They looked so soft. Her tongue darted out to wet her own.

He leaned in. One of his hands cupped the back of her neck as he kissed her, sweet and slow. She'd done this only once before, way back in middle school, and her stomach fluttered with nerves. She had no idea what she was doing. And what  _ was  _ she doing? Kissing some boy—some  _ man _ she'd met literally minutes ago? Mina wasn't like that. She wasn't a club girl who'd let just about anyone touch her like this.

And yet, she melted into it. Grabbed a fistful of his shirt in one hand, and braced the other on the seat of the booth to steady herself. He pulled away and she chased him, letting out a needy whine that made him chuckle.  _ God,  _ she was making a fool of herself. "I'm sorry," she blurted. "I don't—I'm not very good at... um..."

"You're perfect." He kissed her again, firmer this time, his other hand resting at the small of her back. Mina leaned closer, her breath hitching as she pressed herself against him.

Something brushed against her closed lips. She opened them, and felt his tongue meet hers. A soft,  _ "Ah!" _ slipped out. Then his mouth was on hers, hungry now, smothering the little noises she made. She had to get a hold of herself. Acting like this, he must think she was desperate. That she wanted him to do other things to her. Things that made her ache between her legs.

His hands started to move. Down her back, around to her waist. Slowly, tentatively, giving her plenty of time to catch them before they wandered too far. Mina did not catch them. She started to touch him, too, mapping the gentle curve of his stomach and marveling at how solid he felt. How  _ warm  _ he was.

She arched into him as his fingers grazed her belly, sliding upward until they found her breasts. And she should have yelped and jumped away, should have put a stop to it because she was  _ not  _ a woman who let strange men grope her like this, but when she opened her mouth she only groaned into his.

Coby pulled away. Mina gasped when he broke the kiss, and then again when he kissed her jaw instead, started a hot wet trail down the side of her neck. One hand rubbed her nipple through her shirt, while the other began to toy with the hem. His knuckle tickled her bare stomach. Then he started to explore her, rubbing a thumb over her belly button, tracing his way up her chest. There was nothing to muffle her now, and the way she clung to him her mouth was just by his ear, so that he would hear every needy little gasp and whimper.

She fumbled at his shirt buttons, and was rewarded with an expanse of soft, hot skin. Her palms tingled as they pressed against his back, pulling him closer, inviting him in. He took that invitation, slipping a hand under her bra to play with her breast while the other one dipped down. It started at her calf, just under the hem of her skirt, waiting. Mina couldn't help herself. Her legs spread just a fraction wider, her head spinning with the feeling of him touching her, teasing her, sliding up under her skirt...

It moved torturously slow. Squeezing her knee, rubbing circles around her inner thigh, then dropping back down so he could hear her breathy whine. Her hips bucked, and finally,  _ finally  _ he brushed against her center. She realized with a shock that she was wet enough for her underwear to cling to her like a second skin. His finger traced her lower lips through the sheer fabric, sending sparks of pleasure dancing through her body, and she would have moaned if he hadn't cut her off with another kiss.

"Shh," he whispered, his eyes dancing. "Don't want to cause a scene."

  
Realization struck her with the force of a runaway train. They were  _ still in the club! _ People were dancing not thirty feet away, and though their corner was mostly deserted, anyone who walked by at the wrong time would see Coby's hand disappearing up her skirt.

"Not here," she blurted, where she'd meant to say  _ stop. _

"Right!" Coby pulled away, wiping his finger off on his slacks. "Duh, sorry. There's a second-floor bathroom, no one ever goes in there unless there's an event happening upstairs."

Mina felt like she might burst into flame. She knew exactly what he thought he was going to do—in a  _ bathroom,  _ no less!—and she wasn't that kind of girl. She  _ wasn't! _ Except that she could feel her heartbeat between her legs, and she missed the heat of his mouth on hers and the slide of his hand over her bare breast. And she'd heard people say that it didn't count, really, if he only used his fingers. She wouldn't give him her virginity in a club bathroom, just... just let him feel her up a little. He wouldn't even get to take her underwear off.

Coby never stopped touching her as they raced up the stairs. His hands were on her waist, her back, her breasts... He kissed her neck and then down to her shoulder, grazing her just slightly with his teeth. Then they were up and the halls were deserted, except for one very drunk man passed out on a bench. A bathroom door loomed in front of her, and she realized that he was taking her into the  _ men's  _ room. There was only an instant to process her embarrassment before they were in, and his mouth was on hers, and she didn't care anymore.

She braced herself at the sink as he crouched down, sliding his hand back under her skirt. There was no lead-up, this time. He went right for her, rubbing her front with his thumb while his index finger stroked up and down her slit. Even through the fabric it was enough to make her knees buckle.

"Wait for it..." he said, and then pressed something that made her jump and cry out. "There it is."

His other hand moved to tease at the waistband of her panties. "Leave it," she gasped. So he went back to attacking her mercilessly through her underwear, rubbing tight circles around that spot that made her insides light up. Mina clutched at the sink and shuddered, her insides winding tighter and tighter  _ until— _

"Fuck!" she shouted. Her palms slipped and she lurched forward, collapsing against him, her legs jerking with the force of her pleasure. He smirked up at her, holding out his fingers and showing her how they glistened in the light. His teasing grin never wavered as he pressed them to her lips and, when she opened her mouth, slid them inside.

Mina tasted copper on her tongue. Her eyes fluttered shut, her head buzzing with little aftershocks. When she opened them, Coby had stood up. He was standing with his hands braced casually against his hips, looking very pleased with himself.

It hit her that this was it. This was what she'd decided to do. Let him touch her, and then... and then what? He'd made her feel good, and it didn't seem fair to leave him like this, never having properly enjoyed himself.

Mina reached out and unzipped him. She could hear his breath in her ear, growing heavier as she slipped a hand inside. Her throat closed up with a sudden spike of anxiety. She still had no idea what she was doing. What if he didn't like the way she touched him? What if she did something wrong?

But she'd already started, hadn't she? So she swallowed her trepidation and felt around until her hand closed around something long and stiff. She drew him out, her eyes widening as she took in the shape of it. Like an arrow, almost, pointing accusatorily at her. She wrapped her hand around it and started to rub up and down the shaft.

Coby hissed in a breath. "Slower," he said. "Just to start."

It was hot. Hot and velvety soft, bobbing up and down as she stroked it. She watched in fascination as it swelled even bigger at her touch, until Coby was panting and groaning, "Faster!"   
  


She sped up. He started to wince again.

"I'm sorry! Am I hurting you?"

"Nah." He scratched the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "Just needs lube. I could, uh, spit in your hand?"

Mina recoiled.

"Or, I guess—" He cut himself off, his face scrunching up like he was trying to hide his hopeful expression. "Could you... would you want to use your mouth?" It was plain as day that he wanted her to say yes. Despite that, Mina couldn't imagine him trying to push her if it was a no. She could walk away right now.

The thought hardly registered. She was already kneeling. Her mind whirled—one boy smiled at her while she was bored at a club, and what? Now she was easy? Ready to blow a stranger on a dirty bathroom floor? She let out a shaky breath with her lips just inches from the tip of his dick. He shivered.

She kissed him there. He bucked under her touch, so she did it again. Opened her mouth just enough to press her tongue against the shaft. It felt wrong. Dirty.  _ Intoxicating. _

When she finally took him into her mouth, she winced slightly at the bitter taste on her tongue. At first she tried to swallow his dick all at once, but her teeth grazed him and he pulled back with a yelp. "Slowly," he said, his breath hitching when she wrapped her lips around him.

It was obscene. That was all she could think as she hollowed her cheeks, licking and sucking and  _ slurping. _ Her face burned at the noises they made, the way she couldn't stop moaning into him. This wasn't  _ for  _ her! It was something she was supposed to tolerate for his sake, so that she could get him off without giving it up after less than an  _ hour  _ of dancing and kissing.

But she was, wasn't she? Not like  _ that,  _ not yet... but she looked up, really looked, and noticed the row of mirrors across the room. In one of them she could see herself, kneeling on filthy off-white tiles, her cheeks bulging with Coby's cock. She'd never be able to look at herself again without remembering that she'd let him do this, knelt down and opened her mouth like a whore.

"Mmf!" Her moan was garbled by the dick in her mouth, but even that couldn't hide the delirious pleasure in it.

Coby's eyes went huge. "Whoa," he breathed. "You, uh... you  _ really  _ like that, don't you?"

She bobbed her head up and down in a frenzy, gagging herself in her eagerness to take more, take it  _ deeper. _ Her eyes kept straying to that mirror, to the horrible picture she made, but she couldn't stop. It felt  _ good,  _ somehow—the throbbing between her legs returned worse than ever, and she was afraid that when she pulled away, when she returned to reality, it wouldn't feel like this anymore. It would feel sick, like it was supposed to.

Suddenly it was too much. She slid her own hand between her legs, desperate to ease the aching there, heedless of the way her skirt hitched up. No, not heedless—watching it, savoring it, letting Coby see it too. Her hand rubbed against her underwear, teasing her pussy, and after a moment her thumb brushed against that same place he had, her clit. She didn't touch herself often, only occasionally managed to find that spot, but she was so overwhelmed now that she avoided it. She didn't want the clarity that would come from release. She wanted  _ more. _

"Fuck," he groaned. His voice was deep and rough with lust. "You want it? You want me inside?"

Mina let his dick pop out of her mouth as she scrambled to say yes. He lifted her onto the sinks, rucking her skirt up around her hips. There she sat with her legs spread, her hands braced behind her, her chest pushed out. While he fumbled with a condom, she shrugged her shirt off and pulled his free hand to her breasts, letting filthy noises spill from her lips as he yanked down her bra and squeezed them, rolling her nipples between his fingers.

He pulled her underwear down and tossed them aside. Then his fingers were on her, trailing down her slit, pressing down... She gasped as one slipped inside, rolling her hips and letting her head fall back. His touch filled her, dirtying places that were supposed to be sacred. His head dipped down and he sucked a nipple into his mouth. With him crouched like that she could look directly across the room.

Mina made eye contact with the woman in the mirror. She was disheveled, pulling her skirt up to let a man she'd met less than an hour ago push a second finger inside her. Arching into his touch, moaning, spreading her legs as wide as they would go.  _ Slut, _ she thought, and clenched down on Coby's fingers.

She thought it again as he stepped in between her legs, lining himself up with her entrance. As the pressure there built, and her last chance to stop this slipped away. Pain flared for an instant, and then her body opened up to him and she felt his dick slide in. He kept going, thrusting into her in one long, smooth stroke.

And just like that, she'd given it up. She'd let herself be taken, not by a husband or longtime boyfriend in a bed with white sheets, but by a near-stranger in a public bathroom that reeked of stale beer. Mina relished the feeling of being used,  _ soiled,  _ and clung to Coby's back to urge him to go faster. She couldn't pretend to be anything but what she was—every time he pushed into her she moaned like a fucking porn star, and it was ridiculous and pathetic and so,  _ so  _ obvious that she was enjoying it far too much.

"I can't," Coby groaned, as the filthy slapping of their bodies grew more frantic. "I'm gonna..."

She wrapped her legs around him, grinding against his abdomen as he shuddered and swore. His dick pulsed inside her as he came, and even then she didn't stop. She fucked herself against him, wild and sloppy and desperate, like the disgusting slut she—!

Mina cried out. Her body jerked and trembled against his. Her hands clenched convulsively, digging into his back. Even then, she wanted more. Her hips kept moving, those nasty sounds kept spilling from her mouth, but it was already over. He was finished, and she was exhausted.

She slumped back against the sink. Vaguely, she registered him stepping back and re-buckling his belt. When he moved to the side, she could see all of herself in the mirror—could drown in how obvious it was what she'd just done. Her rumpled hair and exposed cunt, the slick smeared underneath her, all screaming that she'd traded away something precious. She stayed like that long after he'd taken down her number and left, just staring, as the pleasure faded and the guilt remained.

Agi was looking for her when she emerged, hastily redressed, unable to look anyone in the eye.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry I ditched you but—Mina?" Agi's eyes widened. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

She spoiled her own planned denials by bursting into tears. Naturally, Agi panicked and started plotting how to track the guy down and shatter his kneecaps—so Mina had to shake her head and explain that she'd done it. Hadn't just let it happen but had, in the moment, wanted it more than anything.

"Oh." Agi sighed and patted her on the shoulder. "Listen, Will, you don't have anything to be ashamed of, okay?"

And she did know that. Sort of. At least, she knew it wasn't fair to judge Agi just because she'd slept with her boyfriend, or other friends of hers for finding one-night-stands on Tinder.

"It's normal to like it. Seriously. The only reason you shouldn't be with someone like that is if you  _ don't  _ like it. I mean, mostly. Maybe don't get your fuck on at midnight if you've got an exam the next day."

Mina snorted so hard she choked.

"But! You're never doing anything wrong by being with someone who wants to be with you." Agi waggled her eyebrows. "A wise woman told me that once."

"Stop quoting me," Mina grumbled. She did feel a little better, though. And as for the other thing... the  _ scary  _ thing, how good it had felt to feel  _ awful— _ that, she could deal with tomorrow. Or maybe thirty years from now when she was due for a midlife crisis.

**Author's Note:**

> in case anyone needs to hear it, you're not dirty or wrong for liking any kind of sex with consenting adults, no matter how unusual! having sex never devalues you as a person! sexuality is part of being alive and it's okay to explore it :)
> 
> it's just fun to indulge in a little shame sometimes ;)
> 
> also i would like to apologize to anyone named agatha or wilhelmina. your name is lovely it was just also really popular in 1918


End file.
